I’d like to tell you what happened to me.
It’s very important, and needs to be shared.

 
About 6-7 years ago, I was in my flat, ‘scratting about’ for some weed.

If you are unfamiliar with the term, let me explain.
I use the term scratting as, to me, it aptly describes the pathetic nature of the physical action. I am one of those people that abuses weed, due my adulteration of it with tobacco, and the heightened frequency of my smoking, I don’t fully appreciate it, I don’t get the most out of it, though this is somewhat irrelevant to the ensuing episode I want to convey.
Every so often, I find myself without any weed to smoke, and so I set off ‘scratting around’ my flat trying to find tiny bits of misplaced weed to fashion a joint from, this includes checking my drawer where I place my weed and cigarettes, checking and cleaning my grinder, scraping residue from a plate etc. It really is a pathetic exercise, as anyone who has done it will tell you, as it very rarely results in anything worth smoking. But I still do it.
(As anyone with a brain and an addiction to weed will tell you, it’s not the weed that causes me to do this, it’s the addictive nature of nicotine, though I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life)
So, I have literally scraped together an amount of ‘weed’ (weed + tobacco + fluff + dirt), which can best be described as a ‘bongs worth’, as I haven’t really smoked bongs for a long time, this wasn’t an option, so I started to make a small joint, a ‘one-skinner’.
I assumed my usual smoking position; laying/reclining on my sofa, and smoked the joint, it was as always, as expected, shite. Not strong. No daydreams. No drifting away, nothing. Now, to describe the effects, as ‘nothing’ would be incorrect, there obviously was some commensurate effect, but due to my usual intake, it was unperceivable, though there will have been a noticeable lessening in the desire to smoke due to the nicotine element. But basically, it didn’t get me ‘stoned’.
I then lay further down on the sofa, in a sort of foetal position, and contemplated the pathetic nature of my actions, as I always tend to do, shortly after smoking a pathetic, scratted joint.
It was then that it happened.

The next words are going to be difficult, but I’ll try.

I received a blast to my senses, right down to my ‘soul’, all of me.
I felt my entire mind, my life, my existence and being, being taken over in a split-second, by the most overwhelmingly immense, powerful, intense pure feeling, a feeling that cannot be described, as much as I vainly try.
It took over me, all of me, and for that instant, I was gone, not needed of this earth, much ‘higher’ than that, it was everything and I knew it. And I was nothing, and I knew it.
It was PURE LOVE. The Pure Divine Force of Love.
I felt pure love, absolutely pure, the absolute essence of the word, nothing less and so much more. No-one can understand purity until they’ve experienced this force and the powerful feeling it provides.
And so powerful, far beyond the definition of the word.
I knew immediately what it was, it was everything, it was THE answer, and I knew it, and it shamed me. To bear witness to this thing, to feel its spiritual glow, and it really did glow in my soul, brighter than an eternity’s worth of suns; me, just little me, laid down like this. ME. Who was I, to receive this.
In that instant, that split-second of unadulterated pure brilliance and absolute perfection, I felt all the shame of my life, of all my actions, of all my feelings, and of all humanity’s.

Every time I didn’t help someone I knew I should have
Every time I was not true to myself
Every time I didn’t do my best, didn’t try my hardest
Every time I made and relied on excuses
Every time I let someone down
Every time I showed I didn’t care, when deep down I did
Every time I disguised my feelings
Every time I let someone hurt and didn’t do anything
Every time I walked past a human being and didn’t show my love for humanity
ALL the times I didn’t let love guide my actions
ALL my regrets.
I felt it ALL

In that instance I knew every sublime truth, I was shown the absolute way, I was shown how it really was, how it was always supposed to be, and it re-aligned forever my perceptions of love, honesty, decency, morality, goodness, right and wrong and hate. I knew I had been wrong all my life, in all my actions and in all my thoughts, to degrees, I would have not previously imagined possible. I was changed forever.
All of it in an instant, a split-second, it ALL came back to me, with all the original feelings, but vastly intensified in light of this knew awareness. Imagine condensing every regret, every bad feeling and all of your accumulated personal shame, down into one impulse, one instance of mind. I knew exactly how far I had slipped. Imagine that feeling.
(I now fully understand how entire past lives can flash through the mind in an instant; we genuinely retain EVERYTHING we’ve ever done in our minds, every action, every perception, every feeling, every regret. We are a walking record of our own (shitty) existence).
I could do nothing else but burst into uncontrollable sobbing, and I really mean uncontrollable. I don’t believe it’s possible to react in any other way. This was no time for ‘basking in the glory of’, this experience only elicited shame. The pathetic nature of my shitty, selfish, puerile existence was highlighted to indescribable degrees by experiencing this immense, limitless expression of purity and love.
Pure and absolute. Indefinable crystalline brilliance.
Pure Love.
My tears felt amazing, I could have cried forever.

Pure Love. There are no words to describe it, there never will be, it’s so much more than that. All the historical exultations and proclamations have attempted in vain to describe it and its power, but it’s impossible to do so, it is indescribable, it is so far beyond the forms of communication we have developed and continually relied upon. We are just not capable at this present state of our development to comprehend and accurately describe such a thing. Any attempts to do so, are pathetically inadequate, though this is not so evident, until you’ve experienced it.
It is PURE LOVE. It’s the only true purity. Everything else is subject to the laws of science: pure, until we discover otherwise. This is not. This is the word pure, in its purest form.

There is only one analogy that comes close:

Upon giving birth for the first time, a woman will be handed her child.
The first time the world leaves that woman alone with her child, she will hold her child, look at it and feel a love that is unsurpassed in life. She knows at that precise moment, she needs nothing else, no husband, no friends or family, no food no water, no life, nothing, except the love for and of this child. Time stands still, it has no meaning here, and she and her child are alone in a timeless, untouchable and beautifully serene state that in her mind could last forever. It obviously cannot, but logic has no place here. This is pure human love. It is unsurpassed in normal life. The baby is her and she is the baby, and that is wholly indivisible.
Now imagine a multiplication of that immense, timeless feeling of pure unadulterated love by the largest amount your mind will allow, or is capable of, you cannot, but I cannot imagine how to describe it or convey it in any other way. It is an infinitely large expression of the greatest, purest, most perfect love you can ever feel, and that is nowhere near even scratching the surface. it is beyond description, or comprehension.
It is blinding, absolutely blinding to the emotive sensibilities of our psyche. It highlights you and every part you’ve ever played in your entire existence, and presents it to you in a way that strips away all pretension.
Look at a 100w light bulb for 30 years, believe in your heart in its brightness, believe there is, and never could be, anything brighter, then look directly at the surface of the sun and know what true, brilliant brightness is.
You have no idea what true, PURE love is, no-one does, I no longer do, but I did in that instance.
It is too much, it cannot be experienced by us for more than a fraction of a second, we are just not capable.

We are not ready yet.

Then it was gone. It lasted a fraction of a second, and thankfully so. The power of this force is far too immense for our everyday weak, vindictive, ignorant, petty, selfish, money-obsessed, insecure, war-death-hate-loving minds to comprehend, never mind experience, and I genuinely believe that I could not have ‘taken’ anymore, or felt it any stronger, as to experience it to any greater degree, or for a longer duration, I would have had to leave this physical existence, and reverted to the other form, the higher vibration, the uncondensed form of energy we all ultimately are, where the material world and all its rules and pettiness are so patently superfluous, more commonly known as the spirit world or heaven, or as some know it; home.

So it was gone.
Was it never to return? Would I never feel this thing again?
THE thing, the ONLY thing, the thing that is EVERYTHING, I had had it, felt it, experienced it, and now it was gone.
You can imagine the sadness that befell me.
I missed the sadness and sorrow and shame it gave me. I missed its glow and its brilliance, its divine purity.
How could I live never having this feeling again, knowing that it exists, really, genuinely, truly exists, and not just some bollocks-in-a-book, some faraway myth or legend, but knowing that it is REALLY there, knowing that I had felt it, and experienced it, and knowing that I’d never feel it again. It’s an emptying feeling. It emptied my being.
In the briefest of moments I had felt the most immense feeling that a human can feel, NO ONE has felt more.
I had felt the most intense shame I had ever experienced, NO ONE has felt more shame.
I had learnt life's greatest secret, the answer to the ultimate question in man’s existence, I know knew the truth, the truth that cannot be known, the truth that negates the need for belief in the unknown, there was now no more need for belief, no more need for confusion, the unknown was now known, and now it was gone.
As they say in the drug world ‘when you’re high, you can only come down’, put yourself in my position, has anyone ever, in the entire history of man, ever ‘come down’ from such a high, the highest of highs. Apparently not.
I was empty, I was lost. And rightfully so.

And so there I lay, what else could I do. I did what everyone would do, I tried to get it back, I tried to return to it, I wanted to feel the same brilliance and the same shame again, I wanted to sob like a child again. As affected as I was, as pitiful as I felt, I wanted more, how could I not.
So I lay there. Knowing that the only way, the only possible way, was to relax, to let go, to become lost. No thoughts, no feelings, no ME, no I, just being, that was my only chance, only then would my mind quieten to such a degree as to allow for a stronger connection.
I needed to expand that tiny, miniscule flow that I and everybody else unknowingly received everyday, into the absolute torrent I had just experienced. But I could not stop thinking. Thinking.
Thinking. Relief, sorrow. Sadness, subdued euphoria. Emptiness, yearning.
I knew I had to stop it all, or I would have no chance. I knew I had to turn it all off, but I just couldn’t do it, as much as I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking.

Then it happened again.
As unannounced as before.
And all the same beautiful feelings and shame-filled reactions happened again, and for the briefest of brief moments, I was back in the most heavenly heaven. And it was enough. It had happened again.
And again, my tears flowed, and again, my soul bowed. And again, I knew.

Then there was the same quiet, followed by the same thought processes as before.
Thinking, thinking, thinking, wondering.
Then it happened again, just as mind-blowing as before.
In total, it happened six times in the space of about 30 minutes, and each time elicited the same response, an emotional, spiritual, tearful breakdown of the most beautiful kind.

But why me?
Cynical, cantankerous and cold, honest to the point of cruelty. In a word; harsh.
I had not asked for this, and had definitely not searched for it, overtly or covertly.
If given the choice, I would probably have refused it, and offered it to someone else. Up until that point in my life, I would have taken the greatest pleasure in dispelling any illusions people may have had as to the veracity of its existence:

It’s obviously not true, come on, if it were, there’d be proof. Where’s the proof?
It is obviously a tool for control, obviously; it is, and always has been, used to control and manipulate the masses.
It is the realm of the weak; the scared and the insecure, the lost and the searching.
It’s merely a superstition; it’s from a time when people lived in caves and thought the world was flat and the skies were vengeful.
It is the sun.

But it’s not, it really IS. And it is ALL
It is the only true reality. The only truth. It is you.
You feel this force everyday as the feeling of love, when you care about others you feel it, when you listen to others, really listen to them, you feel it. It is the reason you love to feel love, it is the reason why your feelings of hate make you feel bad. It is why you cry at external sorrow, and feel empathy for the sick and deprived and dying. It is why you hate to see people starving. NO ONE should starve. 
It is why you buy Christmas presents, and it’s why you send flowers.
It is why you forgive and want to forgive even the very worst of things.
It is why you want to be a good person.
It lets you know when you’ve been bad.
It is your silent guide, the little voice you cannot lie to.
You know you cannot hide from it, or the truth it supplies to you.
It always knows the truth, and always tells you it, no matter how much you protest and try to ignore its presence.
And you know it. And you always have. And you always will do.
We all do.

No person has ever denied the truth when this voice comes calling, for some reason we instinctively know to listen to and to trust it…we know it is the truth.
It is the SOUL.

The under-current upon which all our lives float upon. It binds us together, as ONE.

We really are one undivided experience, all brothers and sisters, all the same.

We are all the same. We are all expressions of the same thing, the pure Divine Force of Love, and the soul is how we feel it and know it and connect to it.
And it is all you are, and all you’ll ever be. The body will age and deteriorate through use and misuse, but your soul is infinite, it is an ethereal, eternal energy, and energy cannot die.
You will always be you, no matter how young or old you are, no matter how infirm or vital you are, no matter what life has thrown at you. You adapt and develop and learn, you age and mature, but you are always you. And you know who you are, or at least you like to think you do!

But you are wrong.
YOU are the SOUL,
YOU are The Force of Love.

The soul is your connection to the force of love, it IS the force of love, and it is evident that we are all connected to it, and continually influenced by it. It is why we cling to this life, no matter how it treats us sometimes.
Although we tend to believe the world is bad, or violent or at times cruel, the truth is, it is, sometimes, and sometimes much, much worse. But if we take into account everything that happens in the world, we will see it is a world over-flowing with love and kindness. A world where for more than 99.9% of the time, more than 99.9% of all people are kind and thoughtful and are essentially, expressing a version of the love principle. Maybe these acts of kindness and love, are not so evident to our eyes in everyday life, maybe we see the badness a lot easier. I equate this simply as the same as a white man looking at a crowd of people and only ‘seeing’ the black people. We are so used to showing and feeling love, it is so ingrained in us, so much a part of us, that it is the norm, and so it is much easier to identify the different.

Think about yourself, take yourself as a microcosm of life, are you evil, do you hate, do you think nasty thoughts towards others, are you cruel to them, do you wish bad things would happen to them, are you pleased when people are in pain, when they are hurting, do you revel in the death of others?
The answer is generally NO, you may have had one or more of these feelings at some time, you may have wanted to act on it, you may have at times actually acted on it, and set out to genuinely hurt someone, but I’ll bet it was a ‘one-off’,  you as a person don’t generally indulge these bad feelings, and when you do or did, I would also suggest, that it inevitably caused you to feel bad about yourself, as if you’d let yourself down. You will have felt remorse. This is because essentially, you are a good person, as is everyone, at least 99.9% of all humanity. There will always be bad apples, that is nature.

We are constantly bombarded by images and stories of death and suffering by the controlled media, this is not by mistake, and this is NOT the world or humanity. It is a plan, a plan by those who wield power to de-sensitise the soul, to make us believe that humanity is failing, that it is inherently bad.
It is not failing, and it is certainly not bad at its core.
But there is a concerted effort going on to convince humanity of it’s wickedness, of it’s mythical fall and failings, for this pays great dividends for those who know how to use it, it facilitates the environment for subjugation.
And how we’ve been subjugated.

We’ve had all the books and doctrines, lots of them, written by different people, from different times, in different languages, but essentially all the same: fire and fucking brimstone, hell and damnation, impossibly false promises, unbelievable images, contradictions and nonsensical ‘facts’, do this, do that, don’t do the other (or else!!!), shame, guilt and penitence. Which all somehow equates to…irrefutable and unbreakable love.

Let me put it differently.
“Do as we say, no matter how bad it is, no matter how wrong it feels, just do as we tell you to, all the time, unquestioningly, and one day, when you die, it all be alright”

Did the people who dictated and upheld this doctrine, in any way benefit from your absolute acquiescence?
If so, the motives behind the implementation of it need to questioned.
But how then has this lie been continually perpetuated on the seemingly sentient human populace?
By the manipulation of the awareness of the force of love.

Look what they’ve done (the infamous and forever hidden, ‘they’), they’ve convinced a being, 100% imbued with (or more correctly, ‘comprised of’) the absolute force of love, to believe in hatred, violence and avarice, to exhibit coldness and disassociation towards our fellow creations, our brothers and sisters, our soul mates.
They have convinced us black is white, up is down and bad is good.
They have divided us, and made us believe that the division of man is natural and necessary. It is not. We are all one. Indivisible. ALL.
They have built temples to divide us, big, imposing, grandiose temples with strong walls to keep those divisions intact. When you enter one of their temples, to be with your ‘own’ kind,  you are actively supporting this division of man, giving it credence. You are merely separating yourself from all of the other beautiful examples of life, and of all the possibilities of harmony, you are locking yourself away in a prison for the mind.
You are being taught how to hate.
Listen to anyone who frequents these temples, just let them talk and eventually, you will hear the hatred. You won’t see it in their eyes, for the eyes never lie, but  you’ll hear it from their lips.
When you truly understand the concept of ALL, there can be no divisions, how can there be?

It has taken ‘them’ a very long time to get us to this desperate, disassociated state, for the work was delicate, complex and arduous, it took some planning and a hell-of-a-lot of refining, and the works was, by it’s nature, always going to be perpetual. It would have to be, look at what they were up against. King Canute never faced anything like this.

All that hard work. All those lies. All those wars. All the hatred. All for what?

So we wouldn’t ever realize who we really are, and what we can be, our true potential. For when we realize that, the game is up, forever. But they failed. They were always going to. The message kept sneaking through, it had to, it was too strong, too important, too intrinsic for it not to.
People would remember/realize and shout it from the rooftops, from the ‘mounts’. So they had to adapt, and twist and manipulate.

‘Ah’, they said, ‘there is, but it’s not what you think, you’re far too poor and uneducated and downtrodden to fully comprehend, we are not, we are enlightened, we are pious, we understand what you could never, so let us enlighten you’, what then followed was the, now very well known script, which went something like: ‘you were born not good enough…but when you die…’

And we all believed it.

Shit on all your life
Paradise when you die

Simple.
And un-provable (this was essential).

You were not born with sin, how could you be, your birth was beautiful and a blessing, and brought with it unbelievable joy, if you don’t believe this, ask your parents. Ask the nurses.
You are not nothing, worthy of nothing, born with blame and condemned forever, you are the most amazing thing in creation, you are the definition of beauty and love. You can feel love. You are love.
Your capacity for love is infinite, just like you. The more you feel it, the more you will know it. And you will know that it is you.
You are not here to be shit on, you are here to experience life and to learn how to love. You are the here and now.
You are what it’s all about and why it’s all here, you are the most important thing in life, though ultimately, no more important than anything else.

The real world does not really exist.
It is a transient wisp appearing on the surface of the vast eternal spiritual ocean that is the force of love. It exists only while there is a necessary need for the soul to experience by way of the vessels of humanity and other forms of life, the experience of life, living and love.
It exists, because WE, the ‘living, breathing’ expression of the force of love, believe it exists. Our thoughts create it.
And when we ‘die’, the world dies with us, for there is no such thing as the world, only our version of the world, and all the other versions combined.
It is no more real or relevant, in the ‘big picture’, than a dream.
When you live you experience by thinking and feeling
When you dream you experience by thinking and feeling
When you take hallucinogens you experience by thinking and feeling

The important bit is YOU, and the thoughts and feelings you have, the experiences of the mind. This is why you and me and everyone and everything else is here.

You are a tiny, tiny, tiny little piece of ALL that is, ALL that ever has been, and obviously, ALL that ever will be. Really, you are very special indeed, and it’s time for you all to start remembering it. This nonsense has gone on far too long.

Do you really want nuclear weapons, guns, etc.?
Do you really want wars?
Do you want to hate others due to their race, creed or colour?
Do you want to live in fear?
Does it make you happy, knowing billions of people are starving?
Do you really want rape, torture and paedophilia?
Does it make you happy, witnessing profound unhappiness?
Do you really want inequality?
Do you want to feel guilty?
Do you want to fear love?
Do you want to be afraid to live, to be free, to be you?
Do you really want to keep living like this, to be surrounded by this, to be a part of all this?

No?
Me neither.

Luckily, there is another way, and it’s really quite simple and straight forward.
And you will not believe how easy it is.
You’ve just got to want it.
I want it.
And this is how we do it.

Right now, not tomorrow, not next week, or on the 1st of January or some other arbitrary date, right now, you personally decide in your own mind, that you’ve had enough. That this is NOT what YOU want. Right now, you make the personal decision to change (no matter what others around you may say or do), to be different from what you’ve been, to be better than that. But not by much, just a little. As the song says:

‘Put a little love in your heart’

Or more accurately, allow a little bit more love to naturally come from your soul.
That’s all you and each and every person on the earth needs to do everyday, just allow yourself to put a little bit more love into your life, to care a little bit more, to listen a little better, to have a little bit more time for people, to be a bit friendlier, to accept a bit easier, to forgive a bit quicker.

To let love guide every action a bit more than before.

In essence, just show a little more love to the world than you previously have.
Just a little, anymore than that may at first be uncomfortable to our sensibilities and therefore, not so readily accepted or easily assimilated into our lives.

If you, and everyone else in the world does this, what will happen, what has to happen, is that we will all feel a little better about ourselves, we will all feel a little bit better about those around us, we will care for them more and appreciate their beauty more. We will show them more love, proper love.
We will all then feel better about the world we live in. Knowing that we are all happy and living a life of love. And this will be good.
We will then wake up the next day and every subsequent day in a world that has noticeably more love in it than the previous one, a world more caring and accepting, surrounded by a feeling, an air, an atmosphere in which we can thrive. All of us, not just the privileged few, like us in the west.

And as we experience each new day in this ever-increasing state of love and awareness, we will then be able to build on that new feeling everyday, every minute, knowing that it is what we truly want in our ‘hearts’, and that we are actively working towards it, each and everyone of us, towards harmony and true equality.
No more starvation based on where you were born.
No more wars based on ignorance and dogma.
No more masters and their cattle.

No more ‘what can I do’. You can. We can. We all can. And we will, if we all want it enough. ‘They’ will try vehemently to convince us we don’t want it, but their words and wars will be impotent, for the power of love cannot be beaten.

We were never thrown out of the Garden of Eden, it is allegorical. We have lost, temporarily, the ability to truly express love. To live in and be surrounded by love, and for that to feel natural to us.
We wanted to learn, we wanted to know, we wanted to question and investigate, and that was good.
We were offered the opportunity to digress from the ‘path’, to go as far away from it as we desired, unfortunately, along the way, we forgot the way back.
We have not lost Paradise, we’ve just misplaced it, we can return any time we want, it’s wholly within ourselves, we’ve just got to want it enough, all of us.
All the answers to all our problems are within ourselves.

This planet we live on is the Garden of Eden, this is Paradise, look around at the stars, at the solar system, at the barren cosmos, it’s obvious. There may well be others residing in other ‘green zones’, far out of our sight, but this is OURS.
We are at the very beginning of a new cycle, a new cycle of light and hope, as opposed to the darkness and fear we’ve had thrust upon us for far too long.
This is coming, genuinely coming, and it’s unstoppable. It is part of a cycle.
And ‘they’ know it.

I have deliberately refrained throughout this whole piece, from mentioning a certain, very well known word, a name.
Names are for people to be known by, to be called by other people, for the purpose of identification. People.
This name has been used for far too long for the purpose of manipulation and control, to oppress, to cause fear.
How can something that is apparently all about love, be associated with such fear, guilt, pain and inhumane cruelty. How?
How can it constantly threaten all that it professes to love with such a brutal, torturous eternal ‘justice’.
This just doesn’t make sense to me, it never has, and anyone who tells you it does, is either lying or very, very confused.
Ask yourself this, if your children confessed to no longer loving you, would you be happy to watch them writhe and scream in pain and torture as punishment.
Would that please you?
Would your feelings not be one of profound sadness, as opposed to ‘How dare they, I’ll show them’. Similarly, would you not be inclined to shoulder the blame, after all, it was you who taught them love, therefore it would be your failure. Surely sentencing them to eternal pain and torture as retribution, would surely not assuage this. Surely.
These to me, are obviously the words of disaffected, disassociated, vengeful and spiteful humans, hell-bent on control and misery.
They are not the words of the Divine Force of Love that I experienced.

The people who preach this evil, cruel bollocks are fools, clowns and charlatans, no more to be believed than a delusional madman.
But they are not.
They are just confused to a greater degree than the rest of us.
They have been misguided.
They believed it when they were told it, they believed when they read it.
They believed it so profoundly, they HAD to make others believe it.
So they twisted it, they deleted it, and embellished it throughout the ages, all because they, in their confusion, believed it in their ‘hearts’.
They couldn’t have been more wrong if they tried.

The everyday people who peddle this cruel nonsense are wrong, they are not malicious, they are just wrong, misguided and confused. They believe it, but they are wrong. But you don’t have to believe it, no-one does, YOU can choose to believe something different, something more in-line with common sense, something more in-line with love.

Your body can be imprisoned, but your mind cannot
They can take your life, but not your soul
You are free.

We are all energy, and energy must.

The force they and others claim to speak on behalf of, can only be described by one word, and that word is nothing to be frightened of.

Ask anyone in the world this simple question:

What is the most important thing in life?
Everyone knows the answer.
Everyone.

Love

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